Wednesday 11 January 2012

~:C.C.4.U:~ : Enjoy ...!! TC

 


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Sent: Friday, 6 January 2012 1:45 PM
Subject: Enjoy ...!! TC

 
Doubting husbands
Two women go out one Friday night without their husbands.
As they head back home, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee.
They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway.
The first one did not have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her panties and used them to clean herself and discarded them.
The second, not finding anything either, thought, "I'm not getting rid of my panties..." so she used the ribbon of a flower wreath to clean herself.
The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other:
"We have to be on the look-out, it seems that these two were up to no good last night,
my wife came home without her panties."
The other one responded,
"You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that read,
'We will never forget you'".
 
************************************
 
Pure wife!!
A man wanted tohave a pure wife. So he started to attend church to find a pure woman.
 He met a gal who seemed nice so he took her home.
When they got there, he whips out his "manhood" and asks "What's this?"
She replies "A cock."
He thinks to himself that she is not pure enough.
 
A couple of weeks later he meets another gal and soon takes her home.
Again, he pulls out his manhood and asks the question.
She replies, "A cock".
He is angry because she seemed more pure than the first but....!!!
 
A couple of weeks later he meets a gal who seems real pure.
She won't go home with him for a long time but eventually he gets her to his house.
He whips it out and asks, "What is this?"
She giggles and says, "a pee-pee."
He thinks to himself that he has finally found his woman.
They get married but after several months every time she sees his member she giggles and says,
"That's your pee-pee; a pee-pee."
He finally breaks down and says, "Look this is not a pee-pee, it is a cock."
She laughs and says "No it's not,
a cock is ten inches long and black."
 
*****************************************
 
Honeymoon - first night
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing.
When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked,
"What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird".
"I had tolio as a child," he answered.
"You mean polio?" she asked.
"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."
 
When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked,
"What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"
"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained.
"You mean measles?" she asked.
"No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."
The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.
As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
"Don't tell me," she said.
"Let me guess... Smallcox".
 
***********************************
 
Vodka
A Russian strolling down the street kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie.
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
The Russian begins thinking, "Well I like drinking vodka and wish to drink vodka whenever I want,
so make me piss vodka."
The Genie grants him his wish.
When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it.
He looks at the glass and it's vodka, the best vodka that he has ever tasted.
The Russian yells to his wife, "Alisa, Alisa, come quickly."
He takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it and give it to Alisa.
Alisa is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best vodka that she has ever tasted.
The two drink and party all night.
The next night after work he asks his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The couple drinks excellent Vodka until the sun comes up.
Finally, Friday night comes and the Russian tells his wife to grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink vodka.
"Yegor, why do we only need one glass?" she asks.
Yegor raises the glass and says, "Because tonight my love, you drink directly from the bottle. ;)"
 
***********************************************************
 
 







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