Tuesday, 11 October 2011

~:C.C.4.U:~ Railroad tracks - An explanation

 

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Railroad tracks- An explanation of bureaucracy and why some things just are....

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet,
8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in
England, and English expatriates designed the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?  Because the first rail
lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad
tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools
that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular  odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would
break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because
that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including
England) for their legions.  Those roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts,
which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon
wheels.

Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in
the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore, the United States standard
railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original
specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.  In other words,
bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process, and
wonder, 'What horse's ass came up with this?',

you may be exactly right!
Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate
the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.)

Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, you will
notice that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of
the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs
are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah ..

The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them
a bit larger, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory
to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run
through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through
that tunnel.  The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track,
and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two
horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature
of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system
was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's
ass.

And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important?

So, Horse's Asses control almost everything...
Explains a whole lot of things,  doesn't it?
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