~:C.C.4.U:~ Clean Humor

 

CLEAN  HUMOR While I sat in the reception  area Of my doctor's office, a woman rolled  an elderly man In a wheelchair into the  room.  As she went  To the  receptionist's desk, the man sat there,  alone And silent. Just as I was thinking I  should make Small talk with him, a little  boy slipped off His mother's lap and  walked over to The wheelchair.  Placing his hand on the  man's, he  said, I know how you feel.  My Mom makes  me ride in the stroller  too..' ***** As I was  nursing My baby, my cousin's  six-year-old Daughter, Krissy, came into the  room.  Never having seen anyone breast  feed Before, she was intrigued and full of  all Kinds of questions about what I was  doing. After mulling over my answers, she  remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but I  don't think she knows how to use them..'  ***** Out  bicycling One day with my  eight-year-old Granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a  little Wistful. 'In ten years,' I said,  'you'll want To  be with your friends  and you won't go Walking, biking, and  swimming with me like you do Now.  Carolyn shrugged.  'In ten years you'll  be Too old to do all those things  anyway.' ****** Working as a  pediatric Nurse, I had the difficult  assignment Of giving immunization shots to  children..  One day, I entered the  examining room to give Four-year-old Lizzie her  needle. 'No, no, no!' she  Screamed.  'Lizzie,' scolded her mother,  'that's Not polite behavior.'  With that,  the girl Yelled even  louder, 'No, thank  you!  No, thank  You! ****** On the way back from a  Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently  said to my son, 'Dad, I know babies come from  mommies' tummies, but How do they get there in  the first place?'  After my Son hemmed  and hawed awhile,  my grandson  finally Spoke up in disgust, 'You don't have to  make Up something, Dad.  It's okay if  you don't Know the  answer.' ***** Just  before I Was deployed to Iraq , I sat  my eight-year-old Son down and broke the  news to him.  'I'm Going to be away  for a long time,' I told  Him.  'I'm  going to Iraq ...'   'Why?'  he Asked. 'Don't you know there's a war  going On  over  there?' ***** Paul  Newman Founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp  for  Children stricken with cancer, AIDS,  and blood Diseases. One afternoon, he and  is wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have  lunch with The kids.  A counselor at a  nearby Table, suspecting the young  patients Wouldn't know Newman was a famous movie  star, Explained, That's the man who made this  camp Possible. Maybe you've seen his picture  on His salad dressing bottle?'  Blank Stares. 'Well, you've probably  seen his face on His lemonade carton.'  An eight-year-old girl Perked  up.  'How long was he missing?' ***** ... And my  personal favorite ...God's  Problem  Now: His wife's  graveside service was just barely finished, when  there was a Massive clap of  thunder, followed by a tremendous  bolt of  lightning, accompanied By even  more thunder rumbling in the distance.  The little, old man looked  at  the  pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's  there."          Belva

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